Ramblings & ephemera

Denise-ism #49

Denise is reading Ben Jones’ blog & laughing uproariously every minute or so. Then she finds a post that really kills her. Denise (laughing): Listen to this one: “People make fun of the fact that I wear a Speedo when I swim.” Scott: Like you are now. Denise (outraged): I’m not wearing a speedo!

The inevitability of taxation

From Giampaolo Garzarelli’s Open Source Software and the Economics of Organization: Whenever organizational forms present rapid change because of their strong ties to technology, public policy issues are always thornier than usual. Indeed, historically, it seems that every time that there’s the development of a new technology or production process, the government has to intervene […]

Nothin’ like nerdy Microsoft humor

In January 2002, I was running for the position of Vice President of the St. Louis Unix Users Group. On the SLUUG listserv, someone proposed that those running for office come clean on any ethical lapses. Here’s what I wrote: Fine … I’ll go first and admit my ethical lapses. I used to use Windows. […]

Denise-ism #890

Denise Lieberman, 15 November 2001: “I’m up to my earballs with work!”

The spirit of the real Texas Rangers

I rather like this, even if it’s probably not true: The story goes that Captain Jack Hayes and his men, the fabled Texas Rangers, were surrounded and vastly outnumbered during one of the many skirmishes of the Mexican War. He made the following prayer, certainly one of the most colorful ever made before battle: “Oh […]

Denise-ism #65

I start playing Norah Jones. Denise: I really like this music. Scott: You say that every time I play it. Denise: And you say that every time back to me. Scott: Well, somebody’s stuck in a loop, and I don’t think it’s me.

The strictest of teachers

From Nat Friedman: For twelve months in 1998 and 1999, I went through this phase of trying to “diversify my interests,” and signed up to take piano lessons. My teacher’s name was Peter, this rigid Eastern European math major who instructed piano to idiots like me on the side. In our first lesson, I was […]

She’s a poet and don’t know it

So I’m listening to Car Talk on NPR, hosted by Tom and Ray, AKA Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers, and this woman calls in, and she says this: Well hello, Click and Clack, My name’s Mary Mack, And I’m from Portland, Oregon. And I thought, my God, but that scans really well. Try it […]

Jans clarifies it for us

Back in November 2002, a bunch of us went camping in a cabin in the woods. Around midnight, we were sitting around the fire, talking. The subject of crime came up, specifically the statute of limitations. Scott: I think the statute of limitations doesn’t apply only in cases of murder and rape. Denise: That’s right. […]

Denise-ism #631

Another quotation from my wife, Denise, in February 2003: “Your fly’s open. Wiiiiiide open.”

A man who loves his feet

From Ben Jones’ Benblog, in February 2003: My friend Ben Jones talks about his feet, back when he was a waiter: “My feet are my lifeblood. Even after I’m done waiting, I don’t think I’ll ever think of my feet the same way. They have been my best friends over the last year, suffering through […]

Breaking up is like a cold

From Ben Jones’ Benblog, in February 2003: Ben on breaking up with a girl: “Archer said last night that getting over a girl is like getting over a cold. You just wake up one day, after the lingering affects are over, and vaguely remember that you were sick.”

Larry’s synaesthesia

A quote from Larry Lieberman, my father-in-law, in January 2003: "It was so loud in there, I couldn’t see a thing!"

Denise-ism #356

Denise talking about me, March 2003: There’s a fine line between a freedom fighter and a conspiracy theorist … and sometimes I’m not sure which you are.

Denise-ism #90

A short conversation between Denise and I in March 2003: Scott: “Why are there so many pickles in the kitchen sink?” Denise: “Because I was cleaning out the bathroom!” (pause) “There’s something wrong when that statement makes perfect sense.”

Ben Jones on primal fears

From Ben Jones’ Benblog: I wonder if, the same way we possibly have a residual ancestral memory of snakes eating early hominids that makes certain people fearful of snakes, if the inexplicable fear that some of us have for clowns and realistic dolls and marionettes and that horror of horror a realistic looking clown marionette, […]

Incommunicado

Overheard: “I have a habit of not answering the phone too much, because rumors piss me off.”

Denise-ism #234

Another quote from my wife Denise in May 2003: So we’re sitting in the theater a while back watching the X-Men movie, and Denise leans over to me and whispers, in all seriousness: “Wow! This could be a comic book!”

Great Freudian slip story

From Plastic: When my son was about 4, I took him to the swimming pool at the local YMCA. In the locker room was a one-legged man getting dressed. He was sitting right next to where my locker was so we had to share the bench. My son was naturally curious about his missing leg […]

That poor polish sausage

A conversation Denise & I had sometime in July 2003: Scott: Hey, did you hear about that baseball player hitting that mascot dressed as a sausage? Denise: Yeah! Scott: That poor polish sausage. Denise: Yeah. Scott: From what I read, he didn’t mean to hurt her. He just tapped her. I mean, those costumes are […]