Nothin’ like nerdy Microsoft humor

In January 2002, I was running for the position of Vice President of the St. Louis Unix Users Group. On the SLUUG listserv, someone proposed that those running for office come clean on any ethical lapses. Here’s what I wrote:

Fine … I’ll go first and admit my ethical lapses.

I used to use Windows. A lot. All the time. It was really hard to stop. I mean, it came free with my computer. The guy at the store said, “Hey, try it. It’s free. Everyone else is doing it. You’ll feel good.” So I did. I gave in. I was weak. And then it got really hard to just say no. I kept giving more and more money to Microsoft, and Microsoft had me in its claws. I’d come to it every couple of days: “Hey, Microsoft, got anything else for me?” I sold things to buy more Microsoft products. I withdrew from my family, my friends, other people. Finally, one day I hit bottom … I looked around, and saw little multi-colored flags everywhere on my computer. I knew I was powerless. And that’s when I knew things had to change. I came to a LUG meeting, and I stood up, and I said, “Hi. My name is Scott, and I’m a Windows user.” Everyone was really nice … a lot of them had been in the same situation I was. Since then, the group has helped me gain the strength to get the Microsoft monkey off my back, and now I’m happier and more fulfilled than I ever was. Thank you, St. Louis Unix Users Group!