Another quotation from my wife, Denise, in February 2003: “Your fly’s open. Wiiiiiide open.”
From Ben Jones’ Benblog, in February 2003:
My friend Ben Jones talks about his feet, back when he was a waiter: “My feet are my lifeblood. Even after I’m done waiting, I don’t think I’ll ever think of my feet the same way. They have been my best friends over the last year, suffering through miles of abuse and experimentation. Now, I know them better. I know what they like. They’re less like the strange reptilian appendages they sometimes seemed and more like mongoose, cute and furry and sleek, but capable of turning it on when danger is near. Riki-tiki-tavi. I love my feet.”
A quote from Larry Lieberman, my father-in-law, in January 2003:
"It was so loud in there, I couldn’t see a thing!"
Denise talking about me, March 2003:
There’s a fine line between a freedom fighter and a conspiracy theorist … and sometimes I’m not sure which you are.
A short conversation between Denise and I in March 2003:
Scott: “Why are there so many pickles in the kitchen sink?”
Denise: “Because I was cleaning out the bathroom!” (pause) “There’s something wrong when that statement makes perfect sense.”
Overheard: “I have a habit of not answering the phone too much, because rumors piss me off.”
Another quote from my wife Denise in May 2003: So we’re sitting in the theater a while back watching the X-Men movie, and Denise leans over to me and whispers, in all seriousness: “Wow! This could be a comic book!”
A conversation Denise & I had sometime in July 2003:
Scott: Hey, did you hear about that baseball player hitting that mascot dressed as a sausage?
Scott: That poor polish sausage.
Scott: From what I read, he didn’t mean to hurt her. He just tapped her. I mean, those costumes are pretty top-heavy.
Denise: Sure … your eyes are mid-weiner!
11 July 2003:
David: “That tree is really dropping a lot of apples.”
Denise (helpfully): “It’s an apple tree!”Ã‚Â
Me: “Denise, it’s like you’ve pushed a snowball down a steep hill, and it’s rolling and rolling, getting bigger and bigger …”
Denise: “… and now I’ve created a firestorm!”
Denise about someone else: “She’s really cutting off her hand to spite her face!”
The first line of a mystery novel, suggested by a public defender who heard a woman say it:
“I said, ‘Mama,’ I said, ‘Death was on that boy.'”