Ramblings & ephemera

Denise-ism #95

The phone rings. Denise picks it up. “Hello? Yes. Yes, I support MoveOn.org. What? Yep! I’ve got my MoveOn dot shirt on right now!”

Denise-ism #62

Last night Denise was speaking to my Blogs to Wikis class about the legal implications of social software. She was going over exceptions to the 1st Amendment and was discussing obscenity and child pornography. “Child pornography is a completely different animal altogether. Especially if you’re using animals.”

Robin-ism #6

Scott: Pronounce this word: A – G – I – N – C – O – U – R – T. Robin: Why? Scott: I just want to hear you pronounce it. Robin: Welllll … I would pronounce it the way it’s spelled: Again-kort. Scott: (starts laughing & snickering) Haha! Robin: I *knew* that would […]

Denise-ism #601

Denise is talking to our class about how people are slowly giving up their civil liberties, a bit at a time: “It’s like the story about how you gradually turn the heat up on a pot of water and slowly boil the lobster!” (Hint: she meant frog.)

Denise-ism #37

Denise & I are in the car, talking about her friend Scott E., when her cell phone rings. It’s Scott E.! Denise: “Scott! We were just talking about you! Your ears must have been ringing!”

2 New TV Interviews, Both on Cell Phones

I was interviewed twice in the last couple of months by two local TV news channels, both times on the same subject: the cool stuff that even ordinary cell phones can do nowadays. Google features prominently, as does Flickr, Wireless Amber Alerts, and Cellfire. Best of all, the later one has Libby, my dog, in […]

Conversation with Robert

So a bunch of us are talking at the Central West End Linux User Group meeting. Somehow the topic of surgery during World War I comes up. Robert: What was really bad was that those guys were operated on without any anaesthetic. Me: Huh? Doctors had anaesthetic then. Robert: They did? What? Me: Ether. Robert: […]

Best headline ever

From Entertainment News, 21 March 2004: “Zombies Push Jesus from Top of North American Box Office” (About Dawn of the Dead and The Passion of the Christ)

Best Denise quote ever

We went to see Troy last week. At the end of the movie, the Trojans drag the Trojan Horse into the city. They party, celebrating what they think is the abandonment of the war by the Greeks, and everyone collapses into a drunken stupor. Cut to the waiting Greek ships, hidden a few miles away, […]

Overheard at home, 20031110

Joe (my cousin from England): I just read somewhere that the average house in Missouri has 65 brown recluse spiders in it. Mom: Really? I wonder why we never see them if there’s so many? Scott: Hel-loo?! Because they’re re-clu-sive! They’re not called “brown friendlies”!

Quote by me

“When nature calls, I answer on the first ring.” — Scott Granneman

One of the benefits of LASIK eye surgery

A few weeks ago I had my eyes fixed with LASIK eye surgery. So far I’ve been completely happy with the results – it works! In preparing for the surgery, you receive lots of printed materials to read, including a booklet titled “Patient Information”. Inside that booklet is an explanation of the surgery which contains […]

Denise-ism #92

“You’re just creating a straw horse here!”

Pickup truck commercial

We’re hanging out with Barry and Hilde, & the subject turns to pickup truck commercials. Me: Here’s the voiceover: “If I have to choose between my truck and my woman …” Hilde: You’d better choose right. Barry: You’d better choose your dog. (pause) Dodge Ram Charger.

Nice pun #4

Big wheel keep on Turing

To counterbalance that last one

From Ben Jones’s “Benblog“: That is our challenge, unique in the cosmos, to know that our own brief existence is simply a moment in time, and to experience that breath in the universe with a smile, knowing that we will fade once again into the oneness, floating someday, cosmic dust in a snowflake, minerals floating […]

Greatest 1st sentence of any blog post, ever

From Ben Jones’s “Benblog“: In thinking through my sadness about whether or not I alone can help stave off the destruction of humanity, as important as I feel it is to ensure we do not subject future generations to endless strife, I couldn’t help seeing the aged sadness in my eyes, facing the near futility […]

A historical ‘what if’

History is interesting. Do you know why Hitler had that little moustache? Because Charlie Chaplin had one. It’s true! He knew that Germans liked Charlie Chaplin, and he thought it would help them like him more, so he grew a moustache like Charlie Chaplin. Can you imagine how history would have changed if The Three […]

Jans on vagueness

Jans & I work in the same room, about 8 feet apart, with our backs to each other. Jans: What the heck is that? Me: What is “that”? What do you mean by “that”? (A couple of hours pass …) Jans: Huh. Where is it? Do you know where it is? Me: What do you […]

Scottism #43

Me (talking to myself): Where did I put that sweater? Me (talking to myself, but in a different voice): Oh, there it is. Denise: What was that? Me: I talk to myself in different voices so it’s more like a conversation.