jans

Speaking at SLUUG: Amazing, Stupendous, Mind-Blowing Apps for iPad2

Jans Carton & I are delivering a talk at the St. Louis UNIX Users Group at 6:30 pm this Wednesday, 8 June 2011, titled “Amazing, Stupendous, Mind-Blowing Apps for iPad2”. We’ll be demoing iPad apps live for everyone. If you want to find out more about the iPad, or discover some awesome new iPad apps, then come hear Jans & I speak.

Here’s the complete description:

It’s becoming crystal clear that tablets and other mobile devices are leading the computing revolution into the next decade, and at the forefront (at least for now) is Apple’s iPad. Scott Granneman & Jans Carton will demonstrate iPad apps that they find particularly useful, cool, or amazing – sometimes all three at the same time! You’ll see apps for everything from video to games to reading to productivity, and much, much more. We guarantee you’ll see something that makes you think, and something else that makes you go “Wow!”.

The meeting will be held at Graybar Electric Co., Inc. at 11885 Lackland Road, 63146. Directions are at http://sluug.org/resources/meeting_info/map_graybar.shtml, & a Google Map can be found at http://goo.gl/maps/jnpX.

Jans on vagueness

Jans & I work in the same room, about 8 feet apart, with our backs to each other.

Jans: What the heck is that?

Me: What is “that”? What do you mean by “that”?

(A couple of hours pass …)

Jans: Huh. Where is it? Do you know where it is?

Me: What do you mean by “it”? I have no idea.

(A couple of hours pass …)

Jans: Take a look at this!

Me: What is “this”? “That”? “It”? Why are all of your antecedents unclear? Huh?

(Pause)

Jans: Oh, go fuck something!

Jans clarifies it for us

Back in November 2002, a bunch of us went camping in a cabin in the woods. Around midnight, we were sitting around the fire, talking. The subject of crime came up, specifically the statute of limitations.

Scott: I think the statute of limitations doesn’t apply only in cases of murder and rape.

Denise: That’s right.

Scott: What about terrorism? Is there no statute of limitations on that?

Paul: Well, usually terrorism includes murder.

Jans: If there’s no murder, then it’s just scaryism.

Bringing up the rear

Two things people have said about Jans:

"With friends like Jans, who needs enemas?"

"Jans is a social laxative – he loosens everyone up." 

Great band names, part 24

So Jans & I are talking at the Broadway Oyster Bar last night, and all of a sudden Jans says, “Have you ever noticed how many diseases and other medical terms would make great band names? Like The Multiple Lacerations. Or The Compound Fractures.”

“You’re right!” I replied. “How about The Bleeding Ulcers? And The GI Tracts!”

Got any other ideas?

David evaluates Jans

Warning: this will mean nothing unless you know the two parties involved.

David H. was drunk and for some reason we asked him if he found Jans attractive. His reply:

No! He’s Scottish! And brutish! I feel like he’d take over my country and invade my netherlands!